Ulterior Motive

The last blog was posted on the 26th of October. On the 28th of October, Graham called to tell us that the care had been sorted and would start the following Monday (November 1st) at 8am.

As has already been stated, we didn't want the carers in at all, but having them in at 8am made no sense. My granny wasn't due to leave for the new daycare until 10:30am, if they were so concerned about her being clean, surely having the shower time as close to the leaving time would make more sense? -- My mum had suggested to Graham that any earlier than 9:45 was a waste of time, so when he called and said 8am, she brought that up. His response was that we could change it later, if needs-be. [So ignoring us yet again, good.]

Monday came, my mum was up at around 7am, getting herself ready before waking up my granny at around 7:45am, ready for the carers coming in at 8am... Except the carers didn't come in. At all. She got a phone call from "Momentum Care" (who would be providing the carers instead of the council), she said that she'd been told they'd be in that morning. The woman on the other end of the phone, from Momentum replied with the fact that the care wasn't due to start until Wednesday and that it was never going to be 8am, the only times they had available were 7:30am or 9am. [Does Graham listen to anyone?]

Settling for the 9am (as it was closer to the time she was due to leave), my mum mentioned about the fact we have two reasonable sized dogs and that any carer coming in needed to be OK with them, because they couldn't be shut in any where (George can open doors). Momentum hadn't been informed of this (Graham knew, as my mum had told him the same thing about the carers needing to be OK with them) but said that the carer they were sending was fine with them, and that she was the best they had. [Best you have? Because you'd say if someone was the worst you had...]

Wednesday (Nov. 3rd) came, the carer came. She seemed nice enough. However, by the following week, my granny was already starting to get annoyed by her, getting angry and frustrated while being showered. Who wouldn't though, with a stranger stood in the corner watching you be showered -- That's something to note, the carer wasn't coming in to shower her, my mum had decided before they came in that she would continue showering her and the carer could just be there to say it's done.


With the increasing aggrevation from my granny though, my mum called Graham on Friday (Nov. 12th) to tell him about it, he told her to give it the weekend and see how things go, if it's no better, he'd pull them out, but he'd call on Monday morning to find out. Monday came, no call.
My mum then called him again, in the afternoon. He claimed to have had a meeting, so forgot to call. (Fine.) My mum said that the situation hadn't improved over the weekend. At which point, Graham started to get angry with my mum, near shouting at her over the phone about how we couldn't possibly pull out the carers until at least the next meeting. If we wanted to pull them out any sooner, we'd need to pull the meeting forward. Seemingly forgetting all about the fact that it was him who had said he'd pull them out if it hadn't improved over the weekend. He also suggested that my mum shower her, and that the carer step back and observe. [Yet again, not listening -- That's what's been happening already and it's not working]

My mum raised her voice slightly and asked if he'd spoken to Maureen (the woman he took over from, and who'd been in charge of our case the last time we had carers in) he said he hadn't.

It was Maureen, at the time of the last carers, who had pulled them out, not us. She'd asked my mum to take over the care, to which my mum had agreed to, so long as she wasn't getting the constant calls and accusations of not showering her (which the carers themselves had been getting as well). Graham left the phonecall saying that he'd speak to Maureen tomorrow (which is now today, Nov. 16th).

Today, however, Graham called again. With no apology, he told her the care was being pulled. When asked if he'd spoken to Maureen, he said no and that my mum would have to take over the care.

While it's a good thing that the care has been pulled, the fact that he changed his mind in less than 24 hours, going from shouting about how it couldn't possibly be done without meetings and stuff, to the care being pulled... I can't help but feel there's some sort of ulterior motive to it all.

Just how much of the case notes on our family has Graham read? He didn't know my granny had four daughters for a start. He clearly has no idea of the past care history, with regards to Maureen pulling the care in the first place, etc. The fact that he was speaking about the potential of an adult protection order (I'm not sure if that's what it's called) which would mean they could take my granny away from us, whether we wanted it or not, yet doesn't know the full extent of our case? Bullshit.

But at the same time, he didn't listen to us when we said that we'd had care in before and it didn't work. There was a reason we didn't want it again. It's like we've been bullied into all this, and the moment my mum's fought back (even just a little bit, by suggesting that he speak to Maureen) he's backed down.

You shouldn't have to stand up and fight your case with these people, they're meant to be there to help. Be on your side and do what you need them to do. Not force things upon you and not listen to a word you say.