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This ain't Crichton's ER.

So I'm just back from 6 hours in the hospital. Here's what happened...

Just before 8:30am, my mum and I both heard a noise from my Granny's room, it sounded like she screamed as she/then she fell. We both rushed through to her room, to find her on the floor, having a fit. Her eyes open, but completely non-responsive, almost rolled back in her head and beginning to foam at the mouth.

We tried to sit her up, at first and upon doing so noticed a massive amount of blood on the floor, we were used to head injuries from when my Granda was around though, so we knew that blows to the head produce a lot of blood.

The fit continued until... It just stopped suddenly. At which point, both my mum and I thought she'd gone, that she'd died. -- She hadn't though, and she started to make a weird snoring kind of noise, we rolled her onto her side.

My mum called 999, and an ambulance arrived shortly after. They gave her head a quick, temporary dressing and gave her some oxygen, which before too long she was starting to fight, which was a good sign.

I went with them in the ambulance, to the hospital, leaving my mum (the driver) to contact her sisters and head up after us - I thought it'd be better to have someone she knew with her, to keep some sense of familiarity.

In the ambulance, she kept trying to take the oxygen mask off, so much so that, eventually, the paramedic told her she could just leave it off, if she wanted and although she was making eye contact by this point, she still wasn't actually responding.

Once at the hospital, I was told to sit and wait, while they got her into a treatment room and got her cleaned up and stuff.

The doctor came out and asked if I was her grand-son, I said I was, and he asked me for some info about what had happened that morning, I told him and told him that she was usually responsive and talkitive, even if what she said didn't always make sense -- She still wasn't talking, at times it looked like she was trying to talk, but no words were actually coming out.


The Empire Strikes Back

I went for a Star Wars Episode 5 theme for the title, given that it's the fifth blog on this topic -- Just imagine that the Empire were the good guys and it kinda fits.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

So, Wednesday night (Nov. 24th) we all went out to Franny's to discuss topics of conversation for the meeting the next day, the majority of the questions came from the last meeting and the minutes we were sent from it.

The topics were as follows:

  • 1. Why were we told two weeks, then six weeks and why did it end up being eight weeks -- something that wasn't noted in the minutes, which only said six weeks. 
  • 2. We were told that she would only be released if carers were put in place, if we didn't agree to that then things would be made "official" - What does/did that mean?
  • 3. Discrepancies between what was said at the meeting and what we know to be true. E.g., "Graham Cameron to organise carers - 2 in the mornings, to start Wednesday 27 October 2010." -- One carer started on the 3rd of November. and "Alison McPherson (Staff Nurse) reported there have been no problems with Jessie's skin folds or problems with her bowels." -- it was in the records for her stay that her skin had been red. Which may not have been any more than normal, but that's not what the record in the minutes implies.
  • 4. Gaye Morrison. Why was she there and why wasn't she introduced (or at the very least, why weren't we made aware that she'd be there before the meeting). 

Graham started the meeting by having us state who we were again. This time, Barbara was there, from Abbeyvale Day Centre and when we were done introducing ourselves, it was Barbara who kicked things off with a run down of how my Granny had been getting on at Abbeyvale.


With Compliments

This is Part 4 of the on-going saga.
Click the following for Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3.

Mental Health Services

Old Age Psychiatry Team
Spynie Hospital
Duffus Road
Elgin
IV30 5PW

Tel: 01343 567020 / 567023
Fax: 01343 567162

Date: 8 November 2010
Date Dictated 29 October 2010

Meeting held on the 26 October 2010 at Muirton Ward, Seafield Hospital, Buckie
Re: Planning of care and support before discharge from Hospital

Jessie Smith (27.09.41)

Attendees:

Graham Cameron - Social Worker (Chair)
Dr L Fourie - Locum Consultant in Old Age Psychiatry
Alison McPherson - Staff Nurse (Muirton Ward)
Ian Allan - Manager - (Whinneybank Day Care)
Sandra Stevenson - Care Worker (Whinneybank Day Care)
Linda Smith - Care Worker (Whinneybank Day Care)
Gaye Morrison - Adult Protection Co-ordinator
Katie Smith - Daughter (POA)
Fiona Smith - Daughter - Main Carer (POA)
Fran Gardiner - Daughter
Martin Smith - Grandson

Katrina Murray - Community Mental Health Nurse (Minutes)

Jessie was admitted to Muirton Ward six weeks ago.

Purpose for meeting: For Jessie to be discharged home with support for family and Jessie.

Ulterior Motive

The last blog was posted on the 26th of October. On the 28th of October, Graham called to tell us that the care had been sorted and would start the following Monday (November 1st) at 8am.

As has already been stated, we didn't want the carers in at all, but having them in at 8am made no sense. My granny wasn't due to leave for the new daycare until 10:30am, if they were so concerned about her being clean, surely having the shower time as close to the leaving time would make more sense? -- My mum had suggested to Graham that any earlier than 9:45 was a waste of time, so when he called and said 8am, she brought that up. His response was that we could change it later, if needs-be. [So ignoring us yet again, good.]

Monday came, my mum was up at around 7am, getting herself ready before waking up my granny at around 7:45am, ready for the carers coming in at 8am... Except the carers didn't come in. At all. She got a phone call from "Momentum Care" (who would be providing the carers instead of the council), she said that she'd been told they'd be in that morning. The woman on the other end of the phone, from Momentum replied with the fact that the care wasn't due to start until Wednesday and that it was never going to be 8am, the only times they had available were 7:30am or 9am. [Does Graham listen to anyone?]

Settling for the 9am (as it was closer to the time she was due to leave), my mum mentioned about the fact we have two reasonable sized dogs and that any carer coming in needed to be OK with them, because they couldn't be shut in any where (George can open doors). Momentum hadn't been informed of this (Graham knew, as my mum had told him the same thing about the carers needing to be OK with them) but said that the carer they were sending was fine with them, and that she was the best they had. [Best you have? Because you'd say if someone was the worst you had...]

Wednesday (Nov. 3rd) came, the carer came. She seemed nice enough. However, by the following week, my granny was already starting to get annoyed by her, getting angry and frustrated while being showered. Who wouldn't though, with a stranger stood in the corner watching you be showered -- That's something to note, the carer wasn't coming in to shower her, my mum had decided before they came in that she would continue showering her and the carer could just be there to say it's done.


Victory?

A brief update on the last blog.

Today was judgement day. The meeting that would decide whether or not we'd get her home, or at least that's what we thought. Going in it appeared that everything had been decided already. Though Graeme still tried to push his luck as far as carers were concerned.

My mum had agreed before hand to have carers in, for a limited time and only in the mornings. This translated to him as "Fiona, you've agreed to carers in the mornings and maybe in the evening...? -- We can talk about that." -- Nothing to talk about, mate.

The meeting was held within the carehome where my Granny has been for the past eight weeks. When we walked in, she was walking down the corridor, holding the hand of another dementia patient. She seemed to have a vague recognition of my mum and stopped for her.

When my mum asked her who I was, there was nothing.

Now, she hasn't known my name for a while now. That's fine. I'm used to that, but she's always known that I'm somebody, at least, if not her grandson. But looking into her eyes, there was nothing. Not even a spark of recognition.

So, let's recap...

Eight weeks ago, we were asked if we'd put her into this place for assessment. For two weeks. I said no. My mum, reluctantly agreed. Afterall, it was only for two weeks. Before all this, we'd been asked if we'd have carers in, we said no. Eight weeks later, we're told we can't have her back if we don't agree to carers. The assessment? Nothing's changed. Same drugs. Dietition said she's fine, district nurse said she's fine - they've both always said that.

So why, and I really want to know this, did they insist on taking a dementia patient out of her environment, dumping her in a carehome for two months, causing her to plummet downhill in terms of her mental health? Was it in order to blackmail the family into putting the carers they don't want into their home? I can think of no other reason. Unless they really just wanted to make a 23 year old guy cry - cause they succeeded on that one too.

Blackmail

Blackmail
V. Exert pressure on someone through threats
E.g. 'You can't have her back until you agree to have carers.'

The story starts like this, social work called asking for my mum to agree to put my granny into a place in Buckie for assessment.

My mum discussed it with me and the rest of the family, I said I didn't think it was a good idea and didn't want her to go. It was only for two weeks, but she has dementia. They say you shouldn't take a dementia patient out of the routine they're in and they're used to. Taking her out of her home, and routine for two whole weeks? Seemed stupid.

Social work called again, and listening to him on the phone while he talked to my mum, I could tell he wasn't going to take no for an answer. She eventually said yes.

When she came off the phone, I told her I wasn't happy about it and even less happy at the fact she'd been pressured into saying yes. She came back with, "It's fine. I've got a while yet, if things change, I'll just call him back and say I've changed my mind."

The "while" she was talking about turned out to only be a couple of hours. This was Friday, by late Friday afternoon, she was booked in. By Monday, she was gone.

Two weeks came and went. There was to be a meeting held on the Tuesday, the day I was due to fly out to Florida, and because the meeting was on Tuesday, it meant that she wouldn't get out until late Tuesday, possibly Wednesday. That worked out quite well, because it meant that my mum could take me down to Glasgow without having to worry about my Granny getting home or anything. But still, it was over the two weeks we'd agreed to.

Thank You, John logie Baird

What I'm watching this season:
New Shows
  • Detroit 1-8-7
  • I've not actually finished the first episode of this year, but what I saw was interesting and I think it could be something I'd get in to. It's probably not much different from other 'cop dramas' out there, perhaps even not as good as many. What I did see reminded me, kinda, of ER - Cept, y'know, police, not doctors.
  • Mike & Molly
  • New comedy about 2 overweight people -- Mike & Molly. They meet and start dating. There's not a lot more to it really. It's... Nice and an easy watch. I don't think it's going to last that long, but I'll keep watching it until it goes.
  • My Generation
  • The premise is that the show is a documentary, following a group of people 10 years after they first followed them, in High School. To see where they've ended up in life, if things worked out as they expected them to, etc. As far as I can tell, nothing's worked out as their high school selves thought it would. I've watched a couple episodes of this now and I'm still not sure. It's really slow paced, but it's still got me interested in watching more.
  • No Ordinary Family
  • A live action Incredibles. I've only seen the first episode so far, which was entirely set up. Sorting out the powers, how they got them, how they used them an' all that stuff. It'll be interesting to see where they go with it all, but again, I'm not sure how long it'll last.
  • Running Wilde
  • This one was a surprise. I didn't really expect to like it at all, but both the episodes that have aired so far have gotten me to "LOL". I don't know how long the premise of this one could be stretched out, but so long as that doesn't become old and the writing holds up, I think it'll go for a while.
  • The Defenders
  • Another one I wasn't sure about before going in. Jerry O'Connell & Jim Belushi are a pair of Las Vegas defense attorneys. It's a pretty light show, with a fair bit of comedy elements. But the drama aspect works when it has to. I've really enjoyed both eps. I think it could be the cast more than the writing that's helping me enjoy it though.
  • The Big C
  • The season's over half way through now and I'm not sure I like it. I mean, I enjoy it episode to episode, but I don't really care what's happening. There are a few laughs here and there though. So I'll keep it going, at least til the end of the season.
  • Boardwalk Empire
  • Really enjoying this one and it's nice to know there's already a second season in the bag. It's very slow going though and at an hour each ep, I kind of feel I have to prepare myself for it, to focus on it properly, so I don't miss anything.

Old Shows
  • 30 Rock, American Dad, Chuck, Cougar Town, Family Guy, How I Met Your Mother, Supernatural, The Big Bang Theory, The Simpsons, Community, Fringe & Weeds. 

Videos
I started working on the 2010 video. I'm aware there's still a few months left of 2010, but I already have quite a lot of footage, so I thought I'd get a head start. So far I've edited together around 4-5 minutes worth of footage and used 2 songs. In total, I plan on using 3. So doing not bad.

I also uploaded the second part of  "The David Thomas Chronicles.", with the third part being uploaded on Oct. 31st, if all goes to plan. I'm aware they're not at all scary and just a bunch if immature 'kids' fucking around in graveyards, but we had fun.

Quiz
We went. We didn't do well. The end.





Mickey Rourke

Lazy
I got back from my week in Florida on Tuesday night and since then I haven't really done a whole lot. I got my dollars (and some euros) converted back into good ol' british monies and then essentially spent two days in the pub.

Dave's back, so it's been good catching up with him again, even though we haven't been doing anything but sitting in a pub, it's always a good laugh.

I've also been attempting to catch up on all the TV that I've decided to watch this season. Which has been hard, there are some good new shows though. I might devote next week's blog to mini-reviews of each new show (most shows should have started by then).

Quiz
Team Name: Optimism Prime
Score: 31.5

Shite. The place was empty. We were split into two teams (4 each) and we won out of the two of us. But still. Shite.

It's Getting All Obama Up In Here

Because not a lot has happened in the past week, and because I'm going away this week. I'm switching things up a bit.




I've created yet another blog to document my adventures. Click the plane to visit it.

I'm going to be in Florida for the next week, so hopefully I'll be able to fill it with lots of tales from there and when I get back, I plan to put bits about my previous adventures as well - I thought it'd be cool to have a separate travel journal of sorts to look back on.

That's it. GOODBYE.

ARK

The David Thomas Chronicles
After Quiz last week, and indeed after McDonalds, a few of us went out to visit some graveyards. Originally, we were only going to visit Spynie Churchyard, but we went on to visit Lossiemouth Graveyard and also Alves Graveyard.

From our adventure, we ended up with what probably adds up to around 40mins of video.

On Wednesday, a few of us went out to continue the chronicles. Though, this time, without David Thomas. The story went from reality to fiction in mere seconds. Though, fortunately, in my mind at least, still works.

The first Chronicle can be found here: The David Thomas Chronicles.

ARK adventures
Thursday was Allan's birthday. We went out for a meal and then headed back to his and watched Jurassic Park. While leaving, we were discussing what we'd do the next day, given that some of us were free. It was agreed that Allan, Robyn and myself would meet up for lunch.

Which we did. I walked to Robyn's and met her, then headed to Audrey's where Allan came and met us. While in Audrey's we decided to go to the beach. A bus to Hopeman and then a walk to The Cove.

After the initial shock of the ticket price. We were on our way. The day was also an excuse to test out the Kodak Playsport for the first time. One thing that really impressed me was the battery life. From what I'd read online, people had experienced it going down really quickly. However, I filmed on and off all day and was still left with time to go.

Something that I wasn't impressed with, though I'm sure it's more my computer's fault than the camera's, is that the editing software I usually use didn't seem to be able to handle the video files. Playing them out-of-sync, etc. I downloaded a video converter and switched them from .mov to .avi and it all worked. Though, by doing that, i forfeited some quality -- but then I do that by saving videos in the format I do anyway. I'm too lazy to wait for HD videos to render.

Photography
ARK -- The Cove

Made of Honour
This is quite possibly the most offensive film I've seen. It takes every stereotype for Scotland and bundles it into a pro-american love story.

Scotland, as depicted in the film: Remote, desolate, everyone lives in a castle by a loch, everyone wears Tartan (kilts, etc), plays bagpipes, eats haggis and drinks whiskey. Before the wedding, there was the 'traditional' highland games... Plus it was run through a filter making it look dull.

America, as depicted in the film: Vibrant city, skyscrapers, macbooks, starbucks, top of the line gadgets. Shiny, slick...

Essentially America's made to look awesome, where as Scotland's made to look backwards and like something out of Monty Python & The Holy Grail.

It felt like one of those Japanese Car commercials that Brad Pitt or someone does for the money, knowing that they'll never be shown outside of japan. Except, Kevin McKidd is a dumb fuck who takes the money and plays dumb scottish characters without thinking about how his home country might percieve him.

Quiz
Team Name: The Glockenspiel Hackers
Score: 45.5

Team name was courtesy of Paula's "Team Name Generator" app. Which is usually pretty useless, but the one we used got a chuckle out of us.

Another Day. Another Simoleon.

The Sims
In an effort to save what money I have, I decided to download the Sims 2 and play that for the next couple of weeks.

I opened for 2, because as much as I like 3, it really didn't add much to the gameplay. The Sims 2 requires less of my laptop and so runs smoother.

I started off with a guy and a girl and went from there. The original couple are still in the game, approaching the 'elder' life stage, while their eldest daughter is married, a son in University and twin kids approaching their teens.

I'm still using the same house that I started with, which was originally a one bedroom deal, now has like 6 and covers most of the lot.

My aim is to see how big a family tree I can have by the time I leave for Florida (which at the time of writing is just two weeks away).

Photography
My Flickr account holds just about every photo I take. Due to that, it contains both a lot of work that I'm proud of and a lot of work that is pretty crap. I decided during the week to go through my photos and pick out some of my favourites, for whatever reason and put them into one set.

I didn't get all my favourites, just a sampling. Looking through nearly 3000 pictures isn't something I wanted to spend too much time on. However, I'm happy with the set with which I ended up with.

A link to the set.

Quiz
Team Name: Team! If you wanna go faster.
Score: 41

While sometimes we have a hard time finding 3 people to go to quiz, this week it seemed that everyone wanted to go. We had a team of 6. While, Logan, O'May, Matthew Davidson and Dave Thomas had their own team.

After quiz, we headed up to McDonald's. While leaving, O'May shouted about going to Spynie Churchyard. I went home and grabbed the camera and we headed out.

The edited footage of which has been put together into a new series of sorts called "The David Thomas Chronicles." -- More on that next week though.

Accountant

Friends
I was watching a video on Youtube earlier, from Michael Buckley, he was talking about going back to school, making friends, etc. His video was aimed mostly at high school kids, going to the new school.

It occurred to me, while watching it, that most of my friends aren't from that period in my life, but from Primary school. It's not that I didn't make friends in secondary school, I did. But the closest friends I have are, for the most part, kids I went to primary school with and the people who don't fit into that group, were met through the people that do.

I don't really have a whole lot to say on that topic, other than I think it's pretty cool that the people I'm friends with, I've been friends with for the majority of my life.

Tron
With the sequel coming out soon, I decided it was time I sat down and watched Tron. The film is 28 years old and I'd never seen it. Going into it, I wasn't sure, but I ended up loving it .

The effects were dated, but it just added to the film's charm. Something I'm worried the new one will lose, with it's updated CGI. While it looks amazing, the fact that the original didn't is one of the things I liked about it.

I'll definitely still go and see it though and I plan to pick up the DVD of Tron as soon as I can.

Kodak Playsport 
I'm going to Florida in a couple of weeks and while I have a nice camera to take pictures on in the form of a G1, I wasn't sure what I was going to do about video. I had thought about just taking my compact Lumix, even with it's half-broken screen and using that... But... I dropped it again... and the screen is now nearly unusable.

I had a look at my money situation and figured out that I would be able to spare a hundred quid or there abouts. So, I did some research online, reading a lot of reviews and found that the Kodak Playsport I'd seen in ASDA was actually a pretty good little camera.

It has several recording modes. 1080p, 720p @ 60fps, 720p @ 30fps and WVGA. As well as a 5MP still camera. It records on to an SD card and can charge via USB (as well as a wall socket). Not to mention the fact that it's waterproof up to 3 metres.

Looking at some quality samples on youtube as well, I decided to go ahead and buy it. It was a little bit more expensive than I thought i'd seen it for in ASDA, but not by much.

The only thing I'm not sure about, but will hopefully be able to put to the test this week, is the battery life. The sites say 90mins. Which, for the kind of camera is about average, I think, and that can go up or down, depending on what quality setting you use. 90mins is nothing though, compared to the battery life I get with my 'big' camcorder. The battery on which lasts for like 6 hours on continuous. So that'll be something I have to adjust to.

Quiz
Team Name: Respectable
Score: 33.5

Wasn't a bad quiz this week. Just didn't do that great either. Gutted.

Sailing The Seven Seas

Apple
I had yet another discussion about my dislike of Apple this week.

I know a lot of people, in recent years have taken to disliking Apple, because they don't like iPhone users. Either through jealousy or genuine annoyances. My dislike for Apple goes back to a time well before the iPhone, though, it does, in part, include it.

My problem comes from the general 'cult' of Apple. I used to watch the keynotes they'd put up online, where they'd announce the latest products. That was until I started getting far too angry at them. The one that will always stick in my mind is from the second or third generation of iPhone. They were announcing all the new features, one of which was the ability to search your contacts.

Many people remember the fact that you were able to search your contacts back in the days of the Nokia 3310 and might wonder why Apple decided to omit this feature from what they were trying to boast as the best phone on the market. It's not something that will make or break a phone, clearly, but it seems, to me anyway, to be common sense to include it.

When Steve announced the feature though, the crowd went wild. It was like Apple were the first people to ever think of including such a feature, not just on a phone, but anywhere. Why hadn't anyone thought of it before?!

If you ask a mac user, why you should get a mac over a windows computer, the general answer will be "Macs never get viruses. They never crash. They're amazing."


I've crashed a mac.

I'm not saying they don't have their place in the world, I just don't particularly see them as superior machines. Infact, I don't see any of the products as particularly superior. People are falling in love with a brand, with a logo and trusting it's every move, blindly believing the hype and marketing that the company puts out and that's never a good thing.

Community
Over the course of about 3 days, I downloaded and watched the entire first season of Community. An american sitcom that centres itself around a group of people attending community college.

Given that I watched 25 episodes over the course of a week, I think it's safe to say I enjoyed it. Feels like it could be the 'New Scrubs' -- With the same kind of humour, and the way background characters are more recurring than true background.

Scripts
Despite not being entirely finished with "Seven Days" (the full seven days are written, but I'm not happy with how it ends and it really needs to be re-written), I've been thinking more about a 'sequel' of sorts. The events in the 'sequel' would take place over the same week of the first. But it would be from a different character's point of view and introduce a whole range of other people, before crossing over with the original in Paris.

I started writing it a while ago, when I had, what I considered to be, a cool idea. But haven't written more than about a page worth of stuff.

Windows 7 & ambx
The PC we have, for the past year or so, has been running Linux. Ubuntu to be exact. While that's been fine up until now, I actually tried to buy a copy of Windows 7 for my mum, for her birthday (the PC is pretty much her computer and she prefers a Windows PC over Ubuntu), however the seller I bought it from on Amazon turned out to be a fraud and although I managed to get my money back, I was left without a copy of Windows.

Stuart had sent me an ambx kit, and so, I decided to set sail on the seven seas and get myself a copy of Windows 7. After a couple of hours, the PC had gone from linux to 7 and the ambx kit was set up. The PC is connected to the television in the livingroom, so the ambx should be pretty cool for watching films and stuff.

Seeing how easy it was to install 7 on the PC, I decided to install it on my laptop too. I wasn't one of those people who hated Vista. My laptop could run it fine, and so I never really had any problems with it. 7 seems to be working out pretty well though.

Quiz
Team Name: Halal, is it meat you're looking for?
Score: 46.5

I'd kind of written off quiz tonight, Allan had pulled out and I was just going to go home. Robyn text asking if I was going and eventually it was decided that I was. Paula decided to come along and we ended up with a team of six and finished third (don't let anyone else tell you otherwise).

A Drink Called Lonliness

Don't you know you've got your Daddy's eyes..?
I don't drink, never have really. Never been drunk, at least. I think people, at first, assume it's for some moral reason, or I've had some bad experience in the past. Something psychological to it. The simple fact of the matter is that I don't like the taste.

Now, it's when they hear that that some people have a problem. Not many, and usually not a big problem. But the usual response is something along the lines of "WKD? Why don't you have one of those. They're just like juice!"

Yeah, to you, maybe. To me? I can drink them a lot easier than I can other alcoholic drinks, but I can still taste the alcohol and I still don't like the taste.

I don't see the point in drinking something I don't like, to get to a point where I'm feeling a way I don't need to feel in order to have a good time. I have absolutely zero problem if people want to drink, I even enjoy being around my friends a lot of the time when they're drunk. They can be fun.

Some people, however, drink too much. ...and are twats.

Lonliness through the lens
Cag got in touch at some point, asking if I wanted to go take pictures. Not just any pictures though, pictures based on Limmy's "lonliness" set on flickr.

I'm not the biggest fan of Limmy, but I enjoyed the set and agreed to go with her. We took a walk around town and discovered a few lonely things. However, not as much as we thought we might. Which was slightly upsetting. Or, perhaps uplifting. Elgin's not such a lonely town after-all.

Photos
Pictures from the set, again. & Lonely Elgin & Other things

Quiz
No quiz this week. Watched Sherlock instead. It was good.

SEX AND VIOLENCE!

Kincraig Wildlife Park
It was Donna's last day, after a week of being in Elgin. So we decided to head up to Kincraig for the day. Allan, Donna, Kara, Paula and me. I made some CDs for the road from the song suggestions we'd all made the night before.

The day was a pretty wet one, but a good time was still had by all. The last time I'd been was almost exactly a year ago, with my Mum. It was cool seeing the tiger cubs, who, were only a month or two old when I was last there, walking around their enclosure as 'Big' cats.

One of the tiger cubs in 2009

One of the tiger cubs in 2010


When we got back from Kincraig, Kara and I, sort of, bullied Paula into taking us to the cinema. We went to see inception, which... I'm not sure I loved. I mean, it was definitely a good film and an awesome premise - but everyone else seems to have loved it and... Not so much. I'll probably catch it again on DVD, see what I think then.

Cathedral & Spynie Palace
I'd thrown out the suggestion of going to the cathedral on the drive home from the cinema. Then I slept til around 3pm the next day. I woke up to texts from both Paula and Kara. Kara's simply said "Wake up!" -- I'd put my phone on silent for the cinema and didn't take it off silent.

I got in touch with them, saying I was still up for the cathedral if they were... And they were, so we went. I threw some clothes on, got my bike out and cycled down to meet them. After which, we went to the pub for a quick meal.

Then I cycled home and decided not to go out, cause, essentially, I was just too comfortable.

Wednesday, we went to Spynie Palace. It was kind of raining again, which wasn't so great. But got a few decent pictures. After a while there, we went to Lossie and got some ice cream. While in the ice cream shop, my mum came in. So, I introduced her and Kara. Then we left, and I came home.

I think the Mythbusters were wrong.
The Mythbusters once did an experiment to see whether or not running in the rain would keep you drier than walking. On Wednesday night, we went to the Muckle for a bit and then decided to go on to the Granary. When we left the Muckle though, it was raining heavily. So, we decided to run.

Arriving at the Granary, we were soaked. Well, our fronts were. Our backs were dry. Water was running down my face into my mouth. I don't know how we could have been any wetter.

Aberdeen
On Thursday, we headed to Aberdeen. The whole gang, Richard, Paula, Allan, Kara and myself. Our first port of call was Codona's for food. "The Congo Bar", although a tad expensive, does really good food. After that, we were aiming for Satrosphere. A place that Paula had promised would be amazing.

It was not. She claims it was because half the building was taken up by a crap "Walking With Dinosaurs" exhibit, but I don't believe her. We had fun with what was there and sat through "Science On The Spot" before leaving. After a brief stop-off at ASDA, we found ourselves back at Codona's, where Paula got ID'd for the 10p machines.

Paula, it should be stated, is 23. You have to be 18 to be in the area where the 10p machines are.

After that, we went on the waltzers, which was a pretty bad idea, then went home. The journey home wasn't that great, but feeling like you're gonna throw up the entire journey never is.

Goodbye
Friday was Kara's last day. Paula, Kara, Allan and myself met up for some lunch. We decided on the Granary, which actually ended up being pretty nice. Not cheap, but good food. After that, we went down to the train station, where Kara's train was due in about 20mins.

She bought her tickets and we were getting ready for it to arrive, when it was announced that it'd been cancelled. The next train wasn't for another hour.

We ended up spending that hour, on the floor, playing some card game. I won, I lost. It was a rollercoaster of emotions...

Then came the time for Kara's train to actually arrive. We all hugged goodbye and then watched her train leave. She was only here a week, but, due to the amount we did in that week, I guess, it felt a lot longer. It'll be weird her not being here any more.

Photographs
Kincraig Highland Wildlife Park, Elgin Cathedral & Spynie Palace


Quiz
Team Name: [No team name]
Score: 37.5

Once we got our sheet back, I just went and handed it in, totally forgot about the whole team name thing. Weirdly, we weren't the only ones. Pretty happy with our score this week though. Got a lot of the more obscure questions right.

You've Got A Friend In Me

You've picked your seat, now sit in it
So, on Monday I went to see Toy Story 3 in 3D with Paula and Donna. I booked the tickets online, not knowing how busy it would be, but also so we could get decent seats. While nothing new at a lot of cinemas, Vue in Inverness has only just started the system of picking where you want to sit when you buy your tickets, instead of the free-for-all when you get to the actual screen.

While booking online I'd picked L13-15. Up the steps to the midway point and on your right. Awesome.

We picked up the tickets, got drinks, snacks and picked up our 3D glasses and headed to Screen 1. When we got in, it was already pretty busy. We headed up to L and... There were people in our seats. We checked the tickets. We checked the screen number on the tickets. Making sure we were in the right one. Once that was confirmed, I spoke to the people in the seats.

"uh, these are our seats..?"

Not gonna lie, I expected them to be apologetic and get up and move. An honest mistake an' all that. However, in return, I got a look of disgust and was told

"Well, someone's sat in our seats -- No-one pays attention to it."

A couple rows down, there were seats available (though, for all we knew, they could be meant for someone else) instead of causing a scene and pressuring the people to move, we went and sat down. Hoping that no-one else had booked those seats -- If they had, they didn't come and bother us to move.

Seriously though, what's the point in actually picking out where you want to sit (the seats aren't randomly assigned to anyone, you have to tell the person you buy your tickets from which seat you want) if you're not going to pay any attention to it when you get into the actual cinema?

What cunts.

An American & A German
On Thursday, Paula, Allan, Donna and me went into town and got some lunch before meeting Kara at the bus station. She was hungry, so we then went to Scribbles so she could get some food and then to the pub at night.

Friday, we all (minus Allan) went to Cullen, had some ice cream and then later, with Allan, we went Bowling, followed by another night in the pub.

Saturday, after a pretty late night, we were up again early, to meet Amelie from the train station, after which we went to the pancake place and then to the pub. Where we met Jon. We had planned to go camping at the Cove, but eventually that planned was changed to a visit to Roseisle. Which I'm thankful for. Followed by a night in the pub (sensing a theme?).

Sunday, up again early, to put Amelie back on the train. Which, it turned out, was actually an hour after she thought it was. So, we went to ASDA cafe for breakfast/lunch.

Photos
Cullen, Roseisle & Duffus Castle.

Quiz
Team Name: We had an American on our team, so it's not our fault we did badly
Score: 43

Not a bad score overall this week, A lot of people still did better than us though.

A Beard & A Trucker Hat

Zombies
Last blog, I ended the "zombies" section with "we'll see if it works".

I spoke to Logan, and asked him

"How possible do you think it'd be to write (probably just scene outlines), plan and film a series of short-short films (i'm thinking like 5mins total, split into 5). Zombie related. Make up an' all."

That led to us planning out each minute of the 'film', figuring out a basic storyline to go throughout and even using time-shifts, while trying not to get too "Lost".

Over the next couple of days, I spoke to some people, got a cast together and on the 13th, we went into the woods to film. Just like that!

Well, not quite like that. That happened. But because of the two-day turnover in terms of 'writing' and 'filming' we weren't entirely sure of what we wanted. We spent a good deal of time working out shots, location scouting on location. Waiting for people to show up, who didn't and collecting people who we didn't expect to show up at all.

The cast is made up of Tain, Allan, Debbie, Logan and myself. I hadn't planned on being in it, but due to circumstances, that's how it worked out. Tain's been in just about everything I've done, so it's nice to have him along for the ride again. Allan was in the failed BMR, as was Debbie, so it's nice to have them in something that should, all things going to plan, see the light of day. Logan's Logan.

In the end though, I think we've definitely got something good and we'll hopefully complete filming soon. Editing will take a while. With a score being created, as well as special effects being added.

I'm exited. Romeo/Romeo may not be a masterpiece, but I'm still proud of what we were able to scrape together with very little time/preparation (there were many times that I didn't think we'd get it finished) and I'm still annoyed that we didn't get Black Man Red finished.

Photos
Taken in the Oakwoods, while filming.

Quiz
Team Name: Will Smith was wrong, with just the two of us, we failed. LOL.
Score: 20.5 (I think)

The quiz this week was stupidly hard. The entirely picture round was pictures of paintings/sculptures, from which you had to name the artist and the actual questions weren't much better. The last round being acronyms. How am I meant to know what QANGO means?

No Animals, No Ken!

No Animals, No Ken
The circus is in town this week and Allan asked if I wanted to go. My response was a fairly straight forward no, accompanied by the statement that without the animals, it's kind of shit.

For me, the circus was about the exotic. Seeing things you don't see every day and while, yeah, you don't see people flying about on trapeze down your local pub, it's not the same as seeing, for example, elephants up close and personal. When I was younger, I got to sit on an elephant and get my photo taken and I remember seeing the elephants in the river (right next to where the circus sets up shop in town) drinking, washing themselves, etc. That's the kind of thing that sticks in your head as a child, while an acrobat act might be impressive at the time, it's not something you'll remember for years to come.

Now, I'm not saying that they should bring back animals to the circus. I agree that keeping them captive is cruel and in the long run isn't good for the animals, but that doesn't mean the circus wasn't more exciting with them, better with them. It was.

Hell, I heard the circus that's currently in town doesn't even have clowns. What's the fucking point?

Photos
Lochindorb & Balvenie Castle

Zombies
I don't really have a lot to say on this one, this time around, but if all goes to plan, I'll write a lot more on it next week.

Basically, slightly fed up with the way things go. Putting them off, putting them off... Not doing them. I decided to go back to the days of Romeo/Romeo and When Mannequins Attack. Throw the script out the window or rather, just not write one at all. Go outline-only and just get to filming.

We'll see if it works.

Quiz
No quiz this week. Instead, we went to Allan's to watch the World Cup final. Can't say I was overly concerned about who won, but I still text Tain to say "Should have been Holland." just to annoy him -- It should be pointed out that Tain was sat right next to me when I said this.

Men With Moustaches

Broadband Woes
On Sunday, I came home hoping to watch the latest episode of Top Gear on iPlayer, having been at quiz when it actually aired.

Imagine my dismay when I found that it wouldn't load. I'd noticed my internet was slower than normal, but I figured it was just due to throttling, which happens from like 5-12 usually. Given the extent of my bandwidth usage at time, I don't really mind the throttling.

However, it soon became apparent that it wasn't just throttling. I ran a speed test and found that I was getting a download speed of 0.13Mb/s. 130kb/s. Dial-up is 56kb/s. Fuck sake.

We're with AOL [cue laughter] - We have been for about 10 years, back during the dial-up age and installation CDs from ASDA. The reason we haven't switched is definitely laziness, but after a call to the technical support on Monday, I've been looking into other providers.

During the call, we were made to go through the router settings and change certain things and told after that "that should fix it." When asked just why, if the router settings were all wrong, we hadn't had any problems with speed up until now, the response we got was "Well, I don't know what happens in your home." Oh, thanks... That explains things.

I found an email form on the AOL website. I emailed them with the following:

I want to know if I've been capped, my internet speeds have gone from 'normal' to near dial-up speeds.

A simple enough question, right? AOL didn't seem to think so, when they emailed back with the same automated bullshit about router settings, ending the email with:

I hope that is clear and has answered your query, but if you do have any further queries or concerns please do not hesitate to contact us again.

As a result of your contact you may receive a survey about the interaction you had with myself. I hope you will fill this out positively as this survey will relate to myself and not any other agent that you may have dealt with in previous interactions.

Thank you again Martin for contacting AOL Technical Support via e-mail, and enjoy the rest of your morning.

"...I hope that is clear and has answered your query..." -- What? Seriously? If there's something I hate more than indian call centres, reading off a sheet of paper instead of being actually trained in the things that people are calling about, it's automated emails that feign personalisation.

As of July 1st, my speeds are back to normal. With no explanation as to why they were ever slow and without having touched the router settings. Thanks AOL. Thanks.

EDIT: I wrote this earlier in the week. Since writing it, AOL replied to my 'angry' email (sent to them after the one above came through) with the following...

Good morning and thank you for your reply. Your not being capped by AOL whatsoever which is why I sent on the instructions in the last email. You weren't connecting to the correct AOL network which is why the router settings need to be updated to the correct information.  

If you were in breach of the fair usage policy you would be notified about it I can assure you by email from AOL. Your connection might be back to what it is normally is but your still not experiencing the full impact of the connection to the correct AOL network.
 
Thank you again Martin for contacting AOL Technical Support via e-mail. 


That's fine. It actually answers my questions and gives reason for the router settings. If they'd come with that in the beginning, I would have been a lot more accepting of their advice. Instead, what they sent made no sense in relation to my problem, as far as I could see. The tone in the reply email, to me, comes across as pretty snippy. Probably just as snippy as my email to them though.


Red Dead Redemption
As mentioned in the last blog, I got a copy of Red Dead Redemption for my birthday. I tried to get it when it first came out, but first of all it wasn't available in ASDA and then it was generally sold out.

One week later, I've finished it. The credits have rolled. There's still a heap of side-missions and stuff to finish off before the game is 100% complete, but the main story is over -- and that story? Is pretty damn awesome.

Grand Theft Auto is the obvious comparison, what with it being made by Rock Star Games and the general running around killing people thing it's got going on within the game.

However, I've played GTA a few times and I've never really felt overly invested in the story. I'm aware of it, but I've never felt the need to find out what happens next. When I play it, I've never continued with the missions to find out more about the characters or what happens to them. In GTA, I continue with the missions, to complete the game. It's a means to an end. With RDR though, it's the complete opposite. All the characters are incredibly fleshed out, with loads of back-story, told to you by the characters through cut-scenes and also while riding to various locations. They talk to each other, making even the journeys you can choose to skip worth sticking around for.

The only downside to the story would be that it peaks too early. You find yourself finishing what could be said to be the main part of the story and then go back to doing some mundane tasks, before the proper end of the game. However, this makes perfect sense once you play through the mundaneness.

It's the calm before the storm, in many ways. Once the credits start to roll, I felt satisfied with the game as a whole and intend to go back to it, to continue with all the side-missions. Treasure hunts, etc.

A lot of games have a filmic quality to them, but this is the first game I've played where I can picture it on a screen, not necessarily 'the big screen', perhaps as a mini-series or something. I still maintain that Zelda would make a good film, but it would need a lot of work to make the story work 'in real life' whereas RDR has everything there already.

Photos
Not a lot to say on this one, just some pictures from during the week.
Kingston

Quiz
Team name: Men With Moustaches
Score: 31.5

A low-as-fuck score, saved only by the picture round. The last round was a connections round and from the first question, we knew it was gonna go badly. It was a question about Dad's Army. Overall, we got 1.5 out of 10 in the last round. Crap.

Before quiz started, we broke out the money game. A game, i'm pretty sure we invented. You take some coins out of your wallet/purse and the others have to guess the year the coin was made based on clues you give them.

Examples of some clues.

"The year we started school..." (the people playing were all the same age) Answer: 1992.
"The year I got my first video camera..." Answer: 2003
"The year of my first T in the Park..." (from Tain) Answer: 2004

It was a good game, even causing us to push the picture round back until we'd finished.

Return of the King

N95-8GB Vs. N97 About a year ago, when I first got my N97, 2 lines appeared on the screen. I had to send it away to get fixed. After that, I had no problems. Until now. Last Sunday, it ran out of battery and since then, has refused to switch on. I've emailed "Three", but as yet have gotten no reply. Tweeting the Carphone Warehouse, they say it'll cost £44 to fix. Which isn't much at all, but it's not something I really have just now. Not when I'm meant to be saving for things. Until I shell out for the repair, I'm back to using my N95. Things could be a lot worse. Amazon With my birthday on Saturday, my mum agreed (that is the correct way of putting it, as she had to be convinced into doing so) to buy me a new camera. A Lumix G1 to be exact -- The Lumix G1 is actually a couple years old now and a newer version, the G2 is now out. That fact though, just meant that the G1 is cheaper than it once was. So yeah... Amazon. I found the camera on Amazon, went through all the checkout stuff, filled in all the card details and went out. While out, I got a call from my mum, telling me that the bank had called, asking her to authorise the purchase. Fine. That's happened before, a big purchase out of the blue, it raises suspicions, better that they look into it than you get caught up in some fraud. Speaking of fraud, I tried to order something for my mum's birthday, from Amazon. The seller took my money, I got a "Dispatched" email... It never came. It's made me far more wary of third party sellers on sites like Amazon/Play, which is kind of sad really. Amazon refunded all my money though, including the postage and stuff for the things that were clearly never sent in the first place. Back to the camera. I got home and checked my email to find that I had an email from Amazon telling me that the card hadn't gone through and that I needed to check it. I checked it and it suggested I retry the card, which meant putting in all the details again. I did that, and I got the same email through. Contacted the bank again, they saw no problem. Tried it again, same email came back. I then decided to cancel the order with that seller and try with another, figuring something might be wrong with the seller side of things. New seller, all details still correct, same email. I contacted Amazon, telling them of the problem and went to sleep. Grumpy. Woke up with an email, from Amazon, saying:
Thank you for contacting us at Amazon.co.uk for bringing your concern to our attention. I'm sorry to hear about the inconvenience caused with the declination of the following payment card to your order... ...Please know that sometimes a card number can have one or more failed attempts before it is eventually authorised. I am pleased to say that your payment card was successfully authorised on June 24, 2010. Your order has already entered the dispatch process, so it appears that all is well. We will send you an e-mail confirmation as soon as your order has dispatched.
That's awesome, but... You still haven't told me just why it was being rejected in the first place. All the details were correct, the bank had no problems with the transaction going ahead... So why, Amazon, why? . Hair
My hair was annoying me, as it does so often. I'd asked my mum to cut it and joked about just shaving it all off. Thinking about it though, I decided just to go for it. After a while, it was gone from my head and had collected nicely on the floor. My hair grows really quickly, so a decision like this isn't as drastic as it appears, by Christmas I should have a decent head of hair again. Not quite as long as it is in the picture, but definitely not short by any standards. It's also perfect for when I go to Florida in September, I'll be able to let it grow and still have it at a nice, short, length for the Florida heat. Which, although it may not be the height of summer, will still be far too hot for my Scottish skin to handle. June 26th, 2010 -- 23 years old I hate big birthdays, I hate fuss. So, today worked out pretty well. My mum woke me before leaving for work, to tell me that my camera had arrived. I knew there was a chance that it would and had planned to be awake in the morning to sign for it, so her telling me it was here before she went to work, meant I could go back to sleep. I eventually woke up around 12:30, my mum came home not long after and pretty soon we were on our way to Baxters, for some pancakes. Had this been before I shaved my head, I would've had to shower and all that stuff. Shaved head, no bed-head. Clothes on, deoderant on and away. we. go. After Baxters, we went to ASDA where my mum bought me Red Dead Redemption and a cake. We came home, I played a bit of RDR, before jumping in the shower and getting myself ready to go see... Get Him To The Greek Having liked Forgetting Sarah Marshall and liking Russell Brand's 'brand' of humour, I figured I'd like Get Him To The Greek. I went with Paula and Donna to see it. It was surprisingly good, funnier, I'd say, than Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which, granted, also had more of the love story going on. I'm considering making my walls furry. Photography Went out for lunch with Paula, Donna and Allan, to the Cooperage, before watching the England game with Allan, Jamie and Tain. After the game was over, Jamie went home and the rest of us went to Tesco and then the park. I had the new camera with me, so I went a bit snap happy. Quiz Team Name: "SPOILER ALERT: ...It's a trap!" Score: 34.5 Normally, 34.5 is a respectable score, nowhere near a win, but not last place either. Without Rankine and his mates though, we were last place. Fuck sake. Though, I did argue a point in our favour. "Which is the only sequel to have won the "Best Picture" Oscar?" The answer they were looking for was Godfather II -- an obvious option in hindsight. However, the first thing that came to my mind was "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" and that's what I put down. Guy came over, I pointed it out. We got a point. Win (well, still lose... but...).

Dailymotion

It's been four days since I uploaded that first video to Dailymotion.

Now, I should say at the start that I didn't go into this Dailymotion thing to get views, I did it to get away from Youtube.

However, having said that, the last five videos that I uploaded to Youtube barely scraped past 50 views (all of which I was thankful for, obviously) but in the last four days, two videos. The first has over 100 and the second has over 200. Which, isn't record breaking numbers, but still. It's far more people than were watching my videos on Youtube -- It's even better with the knowledge that I don't have any subscribers on Dailymotion. It's all people finding the videos in other ways. On Youtube, I had just over 100 subscribers, yet only 50 views?

Despite the fact that I haven't really taken time to explore Dailymotion yet, I find myself really enjoying it.

Dailymotion seem to have a knack of making their users feel special. Upload original content (videos without copyrighted materials) and you can become a motionmaker and with that motionmaker status comes promotion from Dailymotion. The video I uploaded to gain motionmaker status, the Loch Ness video, was in a "Staff Picks" section and on the home page of Dailymotion yesterday in the Travel section, as well as the featured video on the "Travel Channel" (as you can see in the picture). That's something that just doesn't happen on Youtube. Yes, they have/had the featured video section, but that was just luck if you got in there and yes, if you did happen to get your video featured, it had the ability to propel you to the heights of 'internet fame', which isn't likely to happen any time soon on Dailymotion, but as I said before, that's not what I want. I just want to be able to share the videos I want to share without being told that it's been blocked worldwide.

I find myself wanting to create good videos, high quality videos. So, if they're promoted in the same way as the Loch Ness video, it's worth people clicking on them, which it really isn't for the Loch Ness video, something I feel slightly guilty about.

The next video I have planned is an epic rap battle. It's going to take a while though and hopefully, it'll be amazing.

So yeah, thank you Dailymotion, for making me feel like you care.

It was nice while it lasted.

So, last night, I decided that I'm not going to be uploading any more to Youtube.

The decision has come after a long run of issues with the site, including, but not limited to, some accounts being closed without any reason being given -- I wasn't using them to spam, or anything like that. Each had genuine content on it and in one case, it was entirely original content as well.

The 'help' service has gone from being pretty good. I needed help when I first signed up and had a back and forth conversation with someone from Youtube, which eventually led to my answer. When I found the accounts closed, I emailed them and got a generic reply which didn't help me and was directed toward their 'help forums', which as far as I can tell seem to be run by users who are just as clueless as you.

These problems arose when Google took over. I can totally understand their reasoning for taking over Youtube, I get that they want to make money from it, so I have no problem with the paid-for content that they have. What annoys me though is that in doing this they have completely forgotten about the people that make Youtube what it is.

My latest problem, it could be argued, isn't actually Youtube's fault. It's WMG's -- I uploaded a video with a WMG track and it was found to be copyrighted. Fine. What's not fine is Youtube's complete lack of help with regards to the situation.

"Dear MartinKSmith,
Your video, Iron Man, may have content that is owned or licensed by WMG.
No action is required on your part; however, if you are interested in learning how this affects your video, please visit the Content ID Matches section of your account for more information.
Sincerely,
- The YouTube Team"

"No action is required on your part."

I went on to my account and was able to watch the video, music an' all. It had some ads on it and an iTunes link to buy the song. Awesome. I'm all for that, allowing users to use the songs they want to use, while the labels still getting some money for it. Fine, I thought. I then sent the link to someone.

But. Upon sending the link, I got a reply, "This video has been blocked due to a copyright claim by WMG".

What? I then went onto my account again, I can still watch the video, sound and everything. I checked the copyright info thing.

Your video, IRON MAN , may include content that is owned or licensed by these content owners:

  • Content owner: WMG Type: Audio content

As a result, your video has been blocked worldwide.

What should I do?

No action is required on your part. Your video is still available worldwide.

Your video has been blocked worldwide. Your video is still available worldwide. -- Thanks for that, Youtube. Really clear.

I've complained in the past about people ranting about every little change on Youtube and claiming that they're going to go off to Dailymotion instead. They are usually empty threats about something that's really not that bad. A little design change. Not a big deal.

The recent design changes really make no sense, but in general, I was fine with them. However, having had a Dailymotion account for a while now, I've decided to take my videos there instead. I'm not going to go deleting my youtube videos or anything like that and I'll still use it to watch the people I'm subscribed to, but I, personally, won't be uploading anything new.

Dailymotion offers the ability to upload videos up to 20 minutes long (longer if you sign up to their motion-maker program, which is sort of like the partner program on Youtube, but you don't have to jump through so many hoops - you just need to upload original content). You can select your own screen shot from anywhere in the video, which might not seem like a big deal, but still, pretty cool if you're trying to grab peoples attention.

So yeah. Slight-rant over. Dailymotion, not Youtube. The end.

New-found Love.

I have never been a sports fan. I've never thought it fun to kick a football around a field for hours on end with friends. I mean, exercise - why would I want to do that? No, I've always been a technology kid. Finding it much more entertaining to sit in front of a TV, or as the years progressed, a computer. The world is out there, sure, but you can see a lot more of it through different shows on your TV or different websites on your computer and in the case of the internet, you can even speak to people across the world, all from the comfort of your home.

All that's not to say I was an unhealthy child. I wasn't. Far from it. I did go out and play with my friends from time to time, but I think it has always come down to the fact that if push comes to shove, I'd rather spend time on my own. I don't know if that's an only child thing or what, but there you go.

So what happens when parts of the TV and internet are taken over by sports? Normally, I try my utmost to avoid them. Occasionally, I'll go to a pub, with my friends and watch a football game and sometimes I'll even find myself getting caught up in all the excitement, the almost goals, etc. but really? I couldn't care less about which team wins. I don't have any loyalty to a particular team, strip, country and the same can be said for any sport. A Scottish person is doing well in Tennis? Good for them, but am I getting excited for their win? Not at all. I don't get the 'We' mentality in sports. Where the fans seem to think they had a hand in winning the game. You didn't.

However, the Winter Olympics started on Friday, with the opening ceremony taking place from around 1am-5am UK time. I happened to be awake and so stuck it on. The opening ceremonies are usually good entertainment, rarely having much to do with actual sport. Vancouver's offering was no different and yet, it had an effect on me. Something I wasn't expecting and something I don't really understand.

Me, the kid who's always hated sport and has never had any real shown support for any individual or country who partakes in a sporting event, found himself actually caring about an outcome.

During the ceremony, the story and patriotism Canada showed made me want to be one of them. Imparticular, Shane Koyczan performed the Slam Poetry piece "We Are More", in front of the crowd at the BC Place Stadium. One thing that struck me about it was the fact that he came off as incredibly patriotic, proud of his country and the possibilities his country gives, without coming across as arrogant and annoying -- which, more often than not, the American's do...







"We Are More" -- [You might have to click twice to play]. 
 

...and for whatever reason, the piece invoked some national pride in me, for a country I've barely stepped foot in (I say barely, I visited some people in the far north-east of the country when I was 11). I wanted to see Canada do well, I was told that Canada had never won Gold on home soil at a Winter Olympics. I wanted that to change.

Earlier today, I watched the highlights of the days events, coupled with some light feeds. The Luge, Short Track, & Freestyle Skiing Ladies' Moguls. I watched it from start to finish and through most of it, although I was invested in the viewing of it, I wasn't really paying a lot of attention to who was competing. That was, until the moguls, in which a Canadian woman got into the lead position, with only one more competitor to go, she could take the first Gold for Canada. I watched the final woman, an American, go down the track... She got the Gold, pushing the Canadian into Silver, Canada's only medal so far - I was actually a little bit gutted.

I can only imagine though, that I will keep watching for the duration of the games, hoping against hope that Canadian gets their gold and maybe afterwards, I can go back to being as anti-sports as I used to be... As I know I am, deep down. I'm not sure my new-found love for Canada will deminish quite as quickly though.

What you been up to?

I hate this question.

In every day conversation between friends, it's fine. But when people ask you that question, having not seen you in a while. People from school, etc. They're not asking, simply "What have you been up to today?" or even this week, they're asking "How successful have you been in life?"

This annoys me, because in the short time you have to answer the question, you can come across as a complete failure at life. "I'm still at home, I didn't go to university -- remember, I dropped out of school. I don't have a job."

Then there's the awkward silence, while they try and figure out how to skirt around that new-found knowledge. 

Fact is, yeah. I dropped out of school, that was for a mixture of reasons, intelligence certainly wasn't one of them. If I wanted to, I could have gone to college and worked to get qualifications there and then gone onto university. That was never an appealing idea to me though. When I was little, I never had a burning desire to be... anything. Kids usually want to be a vet, a doctor, something like that that. I didn't.

Why would I want to spend 4 years + studying something, when I don't know if it's something I really want to do? - Some people might claim "the experience" but I don't drink and have no desire to and when people talk about 'the experience' most of that experience involves being drunk.

I'm still at home, better yet, I'm still in the same home I have been for 22 years. I was born in the hospital and came home to this address. Currently, I live with my Mum and my Granny, before that my Granda too, but he died last year. Why haven't I moved out? Why haven't I got a job?

My Mum works, and to allow her to continue working, I stay at home and care for my Granny, who has dementia (and until he died, my Granda, who had Huntington's). Is it an easy thing to do? To me, it kind of is. I've grew up with my Granda getting progressively worse with Huntington's and over the past few years, I've seen my Granny go the same way - with my Granny is was harder, because it was a quicker decline, but still. You learn to live with it. People who don't see her every day, I'm sure, wouldn't be able to handle it in the same with I do and to a greater extent my Mum does.

Because of the way I've structured my life though, either by choice or not. I'm able to do things that most people with 9-5 jobs can't. I travelled to America by myself at the age of 19, when most people are starting their second year of University. A year later, I travelled across Europe, stopping off in Brussels, Paris, Rome and Venice with my friends and the year after that, I returned to Paris with Ryan, meeting up with people over there.

This year, if all goes to plan I could be going to the US not once, but twice.

I'll be 23 by then - Yeah, I don't have a job with promotion opportunities, I don't have my own accommodation, I'm not settling down, but why should I?

The problem with the question "What you been up to?" is that you don't have time to say all that. Which is why, I'm forced to open with "I'm a carer." - which, while true to an extent, the reason I say it is because it's really just a lot better than saying "nothing".

"Nothing" makes you sound like a failure and no-one wants that awkward silence.

Words I spoke.

Claire asked me earlier if I was going to quiz tonight. I said no, cause I figured Matt would be there and I wanted him to just have an easy weekend without having to worry about my whereabouts. The reason for this?

Well, I said some things about him about 3 years ago which he took great offence to (quite rightly, as that was the goal, in a way) and hasn't spoken to me since - hasn't come back to Elgin since.

"Hate Blogs" as they were called, had a certain genius to them. The people I wrote them about were almost always subscribers to my blog - I knew they were going to be reading them. While I admit that they might not have been the most mature thing ever, I don't regret writing them. Branding them as such and making light of it all was maybe not the best thing ever, but the words in the blogs themselves were always truthful and because of that I'll never apologise for writing them.

Certain people read them, accepted them and moved on with their lives. Which I respected them for, people like Grant, for example. We're far from friends (we weren't that close before either) but we spoke afterwards and put it behind us. Laura, who I didn't even hide behind a blog for... We openly admitted our dislike for each other and she actually took me aside at a party and said that "yeah, I know we don't like each other, but lets try and get on?" That took guts and now, we laugh about things I've said in the past - Ailsa's another one who I openly admitted to not liking and while we're far from friends now, we do speak and do get on.

This will never happen with Matt and I'm not saying it ever has to, or should. The awkwardness is almost always guarenteed to be there, for as long as we both roam this earth. Why yes, I am painting this to be some epic battle between two giants. What of it? It'd be a lot cooler if it was.

These days though? If I don't like someone, I don't tell them. Whether that's a step back, I don't know. What I do do though, is cut them out of my life altogether. Why pretend that you like someone, why pretend to be nice to their face while secretly hating them? What's the point?

I shouldn't even know about it, let alone care.



Yesterday I found myself watching live footage from the "We're with Coco" rally outside Universal Studios, Hollywood, on TMZ.com.

Why? I'm not really even sure. But I watched for a good hour or so and even felt a strange sense of pride in it all. I probably first heard of Conan O'Brien around the time it was announced he would get the Tonight Show, back in 2004. At that time I watched David Letterman on ITV2. I'm not sure how, but I had seen Leno and just never found him to be funny. I remember people praising him for writing his own monologue and how no other late night host did that - which may have been true at the time, but the fact is, it wasn't a funny monologue. The jokes fell flat. At least Letterman's, although written by a team of writers, got a few laughs from the audience and when they didn't, it didn't feel as awkward as did on Leno.

When I was in America in 2006, I favoured Craig Ferguson's brand of Late Night over any others, he actually made me laugh. Conan was occasionally put on, but I wasn't that interested. It wasn't until around 2008 or so, that I started watching Conan semi-regularly. There'd occasionally be a guest on that I'd want to see, so I'd download the show and give it a watch. It was then, that I started to appreciate Conan's humour and the show as a whole. I still didn't watch it all the time and I can't claim to have watched the Tonight Show all the time either, but I liked Conan and understood why others liked him too. When he moved to the Tonight Show last year, I downloaded the first episode and for the first time ever, actually found myself laughing at, or with, the host of the Tonight Show. Who knew that was possible?

Over the years, the stories I've heard about Conan have been nothing but positive. During the writers strike, when the show was unable to work, he paid his staff out of his own pocket. When moving from his old show to the Tonight Show, he took his entire staff with him, from the east coast, to the west coast. Something which I'm sure he didn't have to do and just yesterday, when a couple hundred people showed up outside Universal Studios to show their support for him, he and his staff sent out free pizza, amongst other things.

I think it's safe to say from the above that I am, indeed, "Team Conan" - but again, why? The Tonight Show is a brand that has been on the air for nearly 66 years - but it's an American brand - one that barely airs here, if indeed it still does (I know Leno's tonight show used to air on CNBC at some point, but it was never something I watched there).

The internet has allowed me to follow and become immersed in another countries pop culture, to the extent where I can be more clued into the goings on than people actually living in that country and I'm not the only one.

Tying into the piracy argument I've put forward before, the internet has given shows an audience far exceeding that which will show up on any ratings breakdown, which isn't necessarily a positive thing when it comes to the shows themselves. If you don't get ratings, you don't stay on the air, but if networks like NBC were to open up live streaming and catch-up services with localised advertising, I'm sure they'd soon realise the audience and potential customers they really have.

Conan came out and said, in a public statement that he refused to do the Tonight Show at 12:05 (an offer made to him when it was announced that they were moving Leno back to 11:35) - stating that the Tonight Show has always been on at 11:35 and it wouldn't be the Tonight Show if it weren't. I respect him for that, even if it is in a world where timeslots don't matter and TV is watched online. Conan believed in what he was doing and was doing well at it. He believed in the Tonight Show as a brand, a brand he was only given 6 months to call his own, before NBC decided to, essentially, fire him and put Leno back in his place. 


"We're the generation that's gotta be heard." 

Although unlikely to change their minds at this late date, NBC have certainly been told, by many, that the decision they're making is the wrong one and that's the thing I'm proud of. The fact that a kid from Scotland can be involved in something half way across the world. It's definitely not the most important thing to ever rock the world. But it's something many people are passionate about and it shows that when passionate, people can come together. If I lived in L.A. I would have been standing in the rain with those people outside Universal Studios yesterday, cause I'm with CoCo.


-- I understand that TV is a business and like all business, it can be cruel. But seeing how things go down, I honestly think I could do a better job. I'm not saying I would be loved by everyone, but I think I would make better choices and show better profits than a network like NBC has managed in a number of years. Networks as a whole seem to be catering to the wrong crowd and while, to an extent it may be working just now, it won't work in the long run and it's the long run that matters.

I shouldn't even know about it, let alone care.





Yesterday I found myself watching live footage from the "We're with Coco" rally outside Universal Studios, Hollywood, on TMZ.com.

Why? I'm not really even sure. But I watched for a good hour or so and even felt a strange sense of pride in it all. I probably first heard of Conan O'Brien around the time it was announced he would get the Tonight Show, back in 2004. At that time I watched David Letterman on ITV2. I'm not sure how, but I had seen Leno and just never found him to be funny. I remember people praising him for writing his own monologue and how no other late night host did that - which may have been true at the time, but the fact is, it wasn't a funny monologue. The jokes fell flat. At least Letterman's, although written by a team of writers, got a few laughs from the audience and when they didn't, it didn't feel as awkward as did on Leno.

When I was in America in 2006, I favoured Craig Ferguson's brand of Late Night over any others, he actually made me laugh. Conan was occasionally put on, but I wasn't that interested. It wasn't until around 2008 or so, that I started watching Conan semi-regularly. There'd occasionally be a guest on that I'd want to see, so I'd download the show and give it a watch. It was then, that I started to appreciate Conan's humour and the show as a whole. I still didn't watch it all the time and I can't claim to have watched the Tonight Show all the time either, but I liked Conan and understood why others liked him too. When he moved to the Tonight Show last year, I downloaded the first episode and for the first time ever, actually found myself laughing at, or with, the host of the Tonight Show. Who knew that was possible?

Over the years, the stories I've heard about Conan have been nothing but positive. During the writers strike, when the show was unable to work, he paid his staff out of his own pocket. When moving from his old show to the Tonight Show, he took his entire staff with him, from the east coast, to the west coast. Something which I'm sure he didn't have to do and just yesterday, when a couple hundred people showed up outside Universal Studios to show their support for him, he and his staff sent out free pizza, amongst other things.

I think it's safe to say from the above that I am, indeed, "Team Conan" - but again, why? The Tonight Show is a brand that has been on the air for nearly 66 years - but it's an American brand - one that barely airs here, if indeed it still does (I know Leno's tonight show used to air on CNBC at some point, but it was never something I watched there).