Words I spoke.

Claire asked me earlier if I was going to quiz tonight. I said no, cause I figured Matt would be there and I wanted him to just have an easy weekend without having to worry about my whereabouts. The reason for this?

Well, I said some things about him about 3 years ago which he took great offence to (quite rightly, as that was the goal, in a way) and hasn't spoken to me since - hasn't come back to Elgin since.

"Hate Blogs" as they were called, had a certain genius to them. The people I wrote them about were almost always subscribers to my blog - I knew they were going to be reading them. While I admit that they might not have been the most mature thing ever, I don't regret writing them. Branding them as such and making light of it all was maybe not the best thing ever, but the words in the blogs themselves were always truthful and because of that I'll never apologise for writing them.

Certain people read them, accepted them and moved on with their lives. Which I respected them for, people like Grant, for example. We're far from friends (we weren't that close before either) but we spoke afterwards and put it behind us. Laura, who I didn't even hide behind a blog for... We openly admitted our dislike for each other and she actually took me aside at a party and said that "yeah, I know we don't like each other, but lets try and get on?" That took guts and now, we laugh about things I've said in the past - Ailsa's another one who I openly admitted to not liking and while we're far from friends now, we do speak and do get on.

This will never happen with Matt and I'm not saying it ever has to, or should. The awkwardness is almost always guarenteed to be there, for as long as we both roam this earth. Why yes, I am painting this to be some epic battle between two giants. What of it? It'd be a lot cooler if it was.

These days though? If I don't like someone, I don't tell them. Whether that's a step back, I don't know. What I do do though, is cut them out of my life altogether. Why pretend that you like someone, why pretend to be nice to their face while secretly hating them? What's the point?